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Friday, May 13, 2011

This Dream I Had Last Night

It was springtime. My mother was finished putting the clothes on the line so we walked back down the hill. I told her about this dream I had the night before:


I was walking toward the elevator. When I got a few feet closer to the door two old husky white men walked out of the elevator. The smaller man had a cane and it must have distracted me because by the time I realized it, the other much larger white man was staring intently into my face from but a finger away. He exercised his distance, brushed his finger under my nose then grabbed my hand. I tried to pull away but his pull was stronger and more earnest than mine. I gave in long enough to hear he was saying a prayer. It sounded like an ancient prayer because it was in Latin. I know it was in Latin because the only word I could decipher was 'veritas'. He let go of my hand and kept walking. I walked after him needing answers. I wondered if he could see a demon in me, my past or my future. I must've been distraught from what he did because he was far ahead of me going down the escalator. He was half way down and my only chance was to yell: "What does that mean?!" He looked back at me and said something like if I continue, I will end up going the same place he is going. He pointed and looked down the escalator joking with the irony. "Where, down?" I asked. He replied laughing, "Yes, down."


Again I followed him, this time to the pool deck but again with the same question: "But what does that mean?" He said something about my future. He said when I get there, I should completely give in and submit to what God is trying to do. I felt like I was confused but I understood him at the same time. I was perplexed about this whole situation, relieved that I had some resolve, but I didn't know when I was going to get 'there' or where 'there' was. I just knew I had to give in completely to what God was trying to do. And even that was perplexing because how am I supposed to know what God is trying to do? And why did he say it like that, like God has to 'try' to do anything?


The next part of my dream was choppy. I was on a plane, in a hotel, and on that same pool deck. On the plane, my friends wanted me to get ready so we could go somewhere. We were in a rush. My laundry was in the hotel and on my way down, my friends were coming up, dressed and ready to go. She asked me how they looked. Boring. Plain. Wrinkled. I didn't say anything at all, just nodded and smiled. But I remember asking myself, "What's with all the black and red?" On the pool deck, I watched three young African boys half way dive into the water. Their hands were shaped to dive but their bodies were too slow to follow. One belly flopped. The next two cannon balled. But all three had hands shaped to dive. The other much larger white man was there again, yelling at me and my friends to throw in all the toys and for me to jump in with them. All of the toys? I wondered to myself. I didn't say it aloud because I remembered what he told me earlier: completely submit to what God was trying to do. And even though he wasn't God I guess I was just practicing. There wasn't a point in throwing all the toys in the water because we were just about to go. After everyone got ready we were leaving. And there were so many pieces it was going to be a pain trying to collect them all and especially while we were in a rush. And I still had to finish my laundry and get ready - we threw all the toys in the water. I jumped in soon after.


I can't quite remember the placement of this part of my dream but somewhere before we threw all the toys in, my friend was in another part of the pool trying to learn how to swim. I showed up on the pool deck and when she saw me she told me not to watch her. She had been trying to learn all day and I guess she was ashamed to show her progress. I turned away. And laughed when she started swimming again. I could tell she wasn't doing too well from the sound of her frantic stroke.


I hope no one is using the washing machines, I thought to myself. It's so hard to wash your clothes around here. Only two washers and 1 1/2 dryers to a full hall of men. The 1/2 dryer takes ALL day to dry just one load of clothes so imagine how much longer it takes for everyone to wash their clothes around here when the 1/2 dryer is taken up for the day. Luckily, no one was using either so I put in all my clothes and used the last of my laundry detergent. I went back into my room, sat down, and it came to me: I had a dream last night and I remember it. My mom and I were walking down this hill, and I was telling her about a dream I had the night before...