I or Thou?

What today? What this moment? What right now? And here I am, being human again. But is this what I want to be? I must change. I must become. But where, then, shall I go? What, then, should I become? Can I become? Is there to become? Dilemma. Jesus, don't get me wrong, has made quite an impression on me in my life. And mine of experience, I have been hearing about Jesus all my life, different faces, many faces of Jesus. Bite. So He talks about humility, and trusting in God, and loving no other but God, and knowing there is no other but God. So goodness is humility, trust, love, and obedience. And of most importance is to love God, and one another. Then I hear about Religion as a tool of oppression and repression. I take nothing from Jesus and I'd say entertaining this is foolish but that is why I am brave. So for every good, there is a bad. And for every right, there is a wrong. And this goodness speaks of pride, and majesty, and respect, and honor, and strength, and power. True in before one finds strength and power in humility but in reality this is why states and nations do not govern with Christian morals for these countries that turn their cheek and are meek are as well conquered. They will never get what they want because they don't take it. Their humility won't allow them to. They only receive what is given and is given what is Godrightly bestowed as Godgift. A righteous Deuteronomy speaks principles. Here, this is all there is a win and loss. There is no winning in losing. There is no power in powerlessness. There is win. There is lose. There is power. There is powerlessness. And one is one and the other is lack of. But then there must be more, we hope. Quintessential. No. Of hope we are blind. We must see and know aesthetically, evidentially, empirically. So here's the fork, humble in love and trust in God, the kind that is little and weak? Or strength, respect, and power in me, the kind that is proud, noble, and King David majestic?

I have chosen but I am not the chooser.

And who are those who live in illusion?
Knowing God is like holding water.